A tribute to all mothers-in-law: A blog by mothers-in-law, of mothers-in-law, for mothers-in-law
Launching All India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum
Sub: Launch of All India Mother-in-law Protection Forum (AIMPF)
All India Mother-in-Law Protection Forum (AIMPF) is the first ever social forum created to protect the rights and interests of the mother-in-law. It is a non-funded non-profit organization which will create awareness about the problems faced by mothers-in-law and also fight against the de-facto villainous projection in the socio-legal arena. It can be reached at http://www.aimpf.org .
The mothers-in-law could not bear the harassment any further and said, “Enough is enough” and got together to campaign against:
The stereotyping of mothers-in-law as evil and blood thirsty by media and popular culture. This violates the civil liberties and the constitutional provisions of right to liberty and right to life.
It has been scientifically and also statistically established fact that mothers-in-law are unnecessarily maligned and subjected to judgmental attitudes by society.
National Family Health Survey (NFHS) (http://www.nfhsindia.org Vol-1 Page 500) has conclusively established that a woman in the age group of 15-49 years of age faces 8 times more violence from her own mother compared to mother-in-law.
13.7% women have faced violence from their own mother as compared to 1.7% women who have faced from their mothers-in-law.
Recent Research has shown that “daughters-in-law are programmed to hate mothers-in-law”. This is one of the most important causes of the stereotyping of mothers-in-law in society.
Mothers-in-law, especially those having daughters-in-law, are being discriminated against inspite of their generosity. Mother-in-law gives her son to the daughter-in-law, give her property to her and at the end it is she, who faces the brunt of abuse, and false allegations and defamation.
The mothers-in-law in India face severe abuse and yet these women do not get social support they deserve in conditions like:
Severe physical and mental harassment at the hands of their daughters-in-law.
Physical harassment can be in form of physical kicking or throwing objects or beating with a belt.
Mental harassment includes taunts, comments and not allowing husband to have any relation with mother-in-law.
Name calling and usage of vulgar language on her.
Throwing her out of her own house and forcibly occupying the house.
Daughter-in-law refusing to allow mother-in-law to meet or even speak to her son.
Insults, abuses and threats by police to mothers-in-law.
Kicking mother-in-law out of house feigning torture and maligning her reputation.
Driving mothers-in-law to death.
It is interesting to note that when we have Daughter’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day we do not have Mothers-in-law Day. Ironically the image of the mother-in-law has been routinely tarnished by feminists, women organizations for reasons best known to them. Additionally it is compounded by step-motherly treatment by the society, judiciary and the laws as well. And in this over-zealous activity of tarnishing the social image of the Mother-In-Law; the society conveniently forgot their issues and contributions.
Rather than the mother of the woman, it’s the mother-in-law who gives her son to her daughter-in-law and her property as well and at the end of the day, it is the mother-in-law facing the brunt of the fallacy. She is the one who is held responsible in case the marriage does not work and the blame is conveniently passed on to the mum-in-law.
In fact, international studies have also proved that daughters-in-law are programmed to hate their mothers-in-law. When the relation is onset with hatred it can never blossom into a healthy relationship, it will always be strained and poisoned. Moreover, due to the adverse social hardwiring, it is the mother-in-law who is projected negatively and made responsible for everything.
National Family Health Survey’s third report (available at http://www.nfhsindia.org) has some interesting statistics to share. It was a survey done on 30000 women from different parts of India and social strata. It says that in the age range of 15-49, it is the mother of the woman who does more violence on her rather than her mother-in-law.
Typically in the age range of 15-49 the woman will mostly stay with her mother-in-law and at least away from her mother most of the time, even then the mother does more violence on the woman compared to the mother-in-law and yet it is the mother-in-law who is projected as a villain. One can only imagine the plight of those women who bear sons and get them married.
AIMPF will work towards upliftment of these mothers-in-law by creating awareness and giving them moral support. The helpline number of the All India Mother-In-Law Protection Forum’s Bangalore Chapter is 9886250907. Mothers-in-law facing harassment from their daughters-in-law can contact this number.
In addition to launching this forum today, AIMPF also puts forth its demands to the Government:-
Stop stereotyping mothers-in-law.
A change of attitude in the judiciary, the National Commission for Women, etc. to accept complaints from Mothers-in-law with the same spirit with which they accept complaints from daughters-in-law.
Stop the de-facto defamation of mothers-in-law and give them their due rights of a dignified and peaceful old age.
Stopping abuse of old women in by police and by judiciary.
Protect the rights and interest of the Mother-in-law especially when it comes to property matters. Property belonging to mother-in-law should not be given to daughter-in-law under any kind of force, coercion or unwillingness of the mother-in-law.
AIMPF will soon expand to other parts of the country as well.
All India Mother-in-law Protection Forum
Moms-in-law of the world unite..
6 September 2009
CHENNAI: After woeful wives and harassed husbands, it’s the turn of mothers-in-law to form an organisation. More than 500 of them from across the country will come together in Bangalore to launch the All-India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum (AIMPF) on Sunday.
For some, it will provide a forum to be heard; for others, it is to break the ‘cruel woman’ stereotype that TV soaps have been reinforcing. So varied is the constitution of the forum that it has as members a university teacher from Chennai, a forensic expert from Delhi and a surgeon from Karnataka.
“In TV dramas, we are the villains; in real life, we are the victims,” said Nalini (name changed), a homemaker from Chennai, who has joined the AIMPF. The organization is being supported by the Save India Family Foundation (SIFF), a Bangalore-based NGO working for ‘harassed husbands’.
So will the AIMPF protect mothers-in-law only from their daughters-in-law and not sons-in-law? “Mostly the women are accused and dragged to court by their daughters-in-law. So we are focussing only on them. The organization is not against anyone; it is for mothers-in-law,” said SIFF public relations officer Virag Dhulia.
The forum plans to use its website, www.aimpf.org, to host discussions and debates. “The forum will take up issues, including amendments to inheritance laws and the Domestic Violence Act,” SIFF convenor Manoj David said.
Some AIMPF members TOI spoke to had horror tales to narrate. One said that whenever she went inside the bath to shower, her daughter- in-law would turn on the geyser from outside.
Supporters of the forum said that though there were several incidents of mothers-in-law torturing their daughters-in-law, there were also many mothers-in-law who silently bore the brunt of domestic violence. “There are several mothers-in-law who are victimised and threatened with Section 498 (a) of the IPC, which speaks of up to three years’ imprisonment for husband’s relatives in dowry harassment cases,” said Virag.