Biography of a Wife harassed by the "Other Woman": Chapter 13. Upbringing and Identity
1. Pranati Devi -The Legally Wedded Wife or Narrator
2. Gayatri Devi alias Mata Hari - The OTHER WOMAN luring the Husband in an existing marriage
3. Aditya Kumar-The Husband
ate of writing: 26 October 2009
Date of Editing: 27 October 2009
A child’s mind is very impressionable! What a child sees and experiences at an early age impacts identity formation.
Normally, a child forms it's identity by choosing traits from its role models. For example, a child can assume the he /she is like father in stubbornness, like mother in perseverance, like an uncle in humor, etc.
This identity once formed becomes static and as the child grows it shows behaviour consistent with this identity. Now, if the child sees itself as a good person even though the result of goodness is harm to others, the child's unlikely to change its behaviour.
As the identity is formed at a very young age and is impacted by upbringing, parents need to be very careful in providing the right environment, exposure and experience to children.
The schematic representation of the impact of upbringing on relationships and identity is given below:
Dysfunctional relationships in homes and society breed dysfunctional Adults.
Gayatri Devi had a very troubled childhood. Her parents Mr. V R and Selvi were not well off. There was never enough to take care of basic needs. Mr. V R’s Government job was a saviour that helped the family get a decent living and provide for a good education to Gayatri Devi. Her mother had a miscarriage of a male foetus, before Gayatri Devi came along.
Selvi and Mr. V R squabbled often, with Mr. V R turning violent after a few drinks and thrashing Selvi. Mr. V R also accused Selvi of having an extramarital affair. To top it all, the loss of their son Santhanam was a major blow to Selvi and Mr. V R.
Mr. V R started resenting Gayatri Devi for being alive, instead of his beloved son. These circumstances had a great impact on Gayatri Devi. She hated her father for despising her, but secretly longed for his attention.
Selvi and Mr. V R wanted Gayatri Devi to replace their dead son. They wanted Gayatri Devi to fulfill their aspirations. Gayatri Devi had to become smart, attractive and popular. This shaped Gayatri Devi’s identity. Gayatri Devi became cunning, shrewd, calculative and cold-blooded. All her moves now had a clearly defined motive. Gayatri Devi was encouraged to cultivate friendship only with high-ranking officers' children. This resulted in Gayatri Devi developing the Rambha / Menaka (courtesan) identity.
The seed that was sown in nascent age, reached full bloom when Gayatri Devi reached her post-teens and joined NIIT in the year 1999.
Voice of Women is pleased to present the BIOGRAPHY OF A WIFE (WHO IS BEING HARASSED BY A YOUNGER WOMAN COMPETING FOR THE ATTENTION OF HER HUSBAND).
Inspired by the success of the 'Chronicles of a Battered Abused Discriminated and Disadvantaged Fatherless Girl-child'----another woman has come forward with her "Testimony of a wife in an existing marriage", who is being harassed by a Young Unattached Woman who is wooing for the attention of her HUSBAND and luring him.
This TESTIMONY brings to LIGHT the Strenuous circumstances of LEGALLY WEDDED OLDER WOMEN, who are facing competition from 'Sexually empowered young women'. These 'OTHER WOMEN' are younger, divorced or free, and compete to STEAL HUSBANDS FROM EXISTING MARRIAGES, by hook or by crook (and other carnal means----by Lure, beauty and looks!). And, then proceed to Sham conversions to Islam, Sham marriages, adultery, and other Social crimes ---if unchecked.
The core issue of the Biography is to look for Solutions for "The Other Women" in our Homes, Community, Society and the Corporate World. The solutions include Counseling, Healing, Family Forums and other Alternative Counseling Forums.
Disclaimer: The Story is told in the first person narrative by the " Legally Wedded Wife".
For reasons of confidentiality, please don't assume the identity of the 'narrator'. The entire story has been placed in custody of certain well-wishers. Names and identities of characters have been masked and changed to protect their identities. Let us call the name of the WIFE as 'Pranati Devi'.
Images used are only representative of the story.
Strong Legal action will be taken in Bangalore jurisdiction, against all those who claim to resemble or know the identity of any characters mentioned in this Biography.
Events are true and character sketches are disguised to protect their identities.
Copyright © 2010 Roshni Pereira and "Pranati Devi, The Legally Wedded Wife"