Petition to Conduct CBI Enquiry into Murder of Dr J A Mathan

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Reforms in family laws sought by CRISP


Reforms in family laws sought by CRISP
http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/tp-karnataka/reforms-in-family-laws-sought/article4086840.ece

Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP), a Bangalore-based NGO, fighting for the cause of children of separated parents has urged for early reforms in family laws.

Speaking to presspersons here on Saturday, CRISP president, Kumar V. Jahgirdar, said his organisation was pressing for reforms in family laws such as granting of immediate and equal child access to separated parents and making co-parenting mandatory within 30 days from the date of filing a case for divorce; all cases related to custody of child/children should be disposed of within six months of application, and punishment for misuse of laws, particularly relating to dowry harassment and domestic violence.

Roshini Mathan Pereira, CRISP counsellor, said both parents are important for a child’s overall development. She said that there are instances when a parent who has the custody of the child misinforms the latter about the other parent and that affects the child’s development. She said that doing such a thing is nothing less than child abuse and it causes permanent psychological damage resulting disorders such as parental Alienation Syndrome and Reactive Associative Disorders.

Ms. Perera said a separate Ministry for Children was the need of the hour at the government level to maintain equity of law for both genders.

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Pascal Mazurier wants cops to trace ‘real abuser’ of his little daughter



Pascal Mazurier wants cops to trace ‘real abuser’ of his little daughter

‘I haven’t seen my children in three weeks'

http://www.bangaloremirror.com/article/1/20121107201211070613275568c48c3db/Mazurier-wants-cops-to-trace-%E2%80%98real-abuser%E2%80%99-of-his-little-daughter.html
In a letter to city police commissioner, Frenchman alleges his wife framed him on a rape charge. He wants the cops to trace the ‘real culprit’, and is likely to go to court if the police do not register his complaint
Kumar Jahgirdar with Pascal Mazurier at the police commissioner’s office
The bitter legal battle between French consular official Pascal Mazurier and his estranged Indian wife Suja, who has accused him of sexually abusing their four-year-old daughter, is set to escalate with the Frenchman approaching the police to trace the “real culprit” and his wife’s counsel saying they will approach the Supreme Court to have his bail cancelled.

Speaking to Bangalore Mirror on Monday, Mazurier, consular attaché, chief of Joint Chancellery until mid-June, said, “The investigation by the police in the case against me is complete. The High Court granted me bail because the DNA test conducted on my daughter showed that the semen samples taken from her did not match with my DNA. Even the statements of witnesses have given me a clean chit. This being the case, the police should find out whose semen it was. Nobody is trying to find the abuser. Even my wife, who levelled a rape charge against me, did not bother to ask the police to find out whose semen it was. As a father, it is my right to protect my children. I have requested the police commissioner to order a thorough investigation.’’

Nearly three weeks after he was freed on bail in October, after spending four months in jail, Mazurier is yet to see his children. “They are not at the house where we stayed earlier. My wife has hidden them somewhere,” he claimed.

“My parents are divorced and I know what it means for children to be denied parental love. We had a very good relationship till she started quarrelling with me and wanted a divorce. I didn’t want my children to suffer and so I adjusted with her. She started asking for money and I have transferred around Rs 30 lakh to her French account. She has an eye on my house in France; she also pressured me to buy property in her name in Kerala, which I declined to do as I am a French national and cannot purchase property here. On the day she filed her complaint, she was very fine with me and even sent an affectionate message. But in the evening she lodged the complaint. She has framed me,” Mazurier said.

In his complaint to the city police commissioner, Mazurier has urged the police to catch the “real culprit”. “I love my children a lot; I was the one looking after them when my wife would be out late at parties. As the DNA report suggests that my daughter was sexually abused, I suspect a man with access to my daughter in my absence was responsible.

“I wonder why my wife has not tried to find out who the person is,” his letter says.

“It is my duty as a father to try my best and protect my children. Who will be responsible if my daughter is abused again? My wife has falsely accused me and has made false statements to the police and the family court. As a father it is my highest duty to respectfully request you to investigate in order to identify the man who committed the sexual abuse on my minor daughter. It is also of the highest importance to ensure that my children are in a safe environment,” Mazurier says in his letter.

“From the day I came out of jail, I have been going around like a mad person looking for my childen. My old house has been vacated and my wife’s mobile is not reachable. In the future, my daughter will become a lady and I am sure she will ask about these incidents. I will have to explain to my children why their names are on the internet. I will have to explain why their mother framed me. It is my opinion that you as the head of the police, and I as the father of my children have to expose those who misused the law for their personal agendas,” he says in the letter.

The city police are moving cautiously over the development. “Mazurier has approached us with a written plea, but before registering a complaint, we have to take a legal opinion as his wife has lodged a complaint against him and he has also been charge-sheeted. We have sounded the legal department and after discussing the matter with the police commissioner, we will take a call,” additional commissioner (law and order) T Suneel Kumar told Bangalore Mirror.

Sources said that if the police do not register Mazurier’s complaint, he plans to approach the court to direct the police to do so.

Mazurier has received support from Children’s Rights Initiative For Shared Parenting (CRISP) headed by Kumar Jahgirdar, who accompanied him to a meeting with Kumar and police commissioner Jyothiprakash Mirji.

Meanwhile, Pramila Nesargi, senior advocate and counsel for Mazurier’s wife Suja, said, “Let him approach the court to see his children, and we will then allow the children to meet him. He is still accused of sexual abuse and we don’t want the children to meet him. We are approaching the Supreme Court to cancel the bail granted to him by the High Court and to order a re-investigation of the case, as there are loopholes in the police investigation. The DNA report which says the DNA sample does not match Pascal's has been manipulated. The children are safe and Suja is looking after them well.”

Saturday, 20 October 2012

Coverage on CRISP and Roshni Mathan on Loksatta 20 October 2012

Coverage on CRISP and Roshni Mathan on Loksatta 20 October 2012
Loksatta October 20, 2012. Page 43
























Loksatta 20 October 2012

भारती भावसार ,शनिवार, २०ऑक्टोबर २०१२
bharati.bhawasar@expressindia.com
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अनेक घटस्फोटित पुरुषांना केवळ ते वडील आहेत म्हणून मुलांचा ताबा मिळत नाही. मुलांना आईइतकीच वडिलांचीही गरज असते. म्हणूनच पुरुषांचा वडीलपणाचा हक्क अबाधित राहावा आणि मुलांना अस्थिर बालपण मिळू नये म्हणून लढणाऱ्या तसेच घटस्फोटित दांपत्यांच्या मुलींना त्यांचे हक्क मिळवून देणासाठी ‘ऑल इंडिया डॉटर्स प्रोटेक्शन फोरम’ची स्थापना करणाऱ्या बंगळुरूच्या रोशनी परेरा यांच्या लढय़ाची ही गोष्ट.. 
‘‘पस्तिशीचे बोपन्ना माझ्यासमोर बसले होते, ‘फादर्स डे’ असून आपल्या मुलाला भेटता येणार नसल्याचा सल त्यांच्या मनात होता. त्यापुढचं ते काय बोलले हे मला कळालंच नाही, फक्त इतकं समजलं की तीन वर्षांचा असताना रोहनला त्यांनी शेवटचं पाहिलं होतं. आणि गेल्याच महिन्यात रोहनचा नववा वाढदिवस होऊन गेला होता. बोपन्ना बळी आहेत न्यायालयीन लढाईतले. पत्नीबरोबरच्या घटस्फोट प्रकरणात त्यांच्या मुलाचा ताबा त्यांच्या पत्नीकडे गेला आणि आपल्या मुलाला पाहणंही मुश्कील झालं. आज त्यासाठी त्यांची तडफड सुरू आहे.’’ 
  बंगळुरूच्या रोशनी मथन परेरा यांच्याकडे समुपदेशनासाठी आलेला हा एक पालक. अशी अनेक उदाहरणं आजूबाजूला घडताना त्यांनी पाहिली आणि कायद्याचा गैरवापर थांबवला पाहिजे, स्त्रियांवरचा अन्याय रोखण्यासाठी पुरुषांना लक्ष्य करून चालणार नाही, हे त्यांच्या लक्षात आलं आणि सुरू झाला प्रवास लिंगभेदरहित समानतेच्या दिशेने लढण्याचा.. 
रोशनी परेरा यांनी उभारलेली चळवळ आहे कौटुंबिक कायद्यांमध्ये सुधारणा व्हावी यासाठीची. घटस्फोटानंतर मुलांचा ताबा कोणत्या पालकाकडे जाईल, याचा न्यायनिवाडा लवकर व्हावा यासाठीची. त्यामध्ये  वडिलांच्या भावनांचा आदर करत त्यांनाही आईइतकाच अधिकार मिळाला पाहिजे असा त्यांचा आग्रह आहे. कोणत्याही कारणाने विभक्त झालेल्या नवरा-बायकोच्या कलहात मुलांचा नाहक बळी जाऊ नये व पर्यायाने कौटुंबिक व सामाजिक संतुलन राखले जावे, हा उदात्त हेतू त्यामागे आहे.
कुटुंबाच्या चौकटीत मुलांना आर्थिक, सामाजिक व भावनिक संरक्षण मिळते. पण दुर्दैवाने ज्या मुलांना उमलत्या वयात आई-वडिलांच्या विभक्त होण्याचे भयाण वास्तव स्वीकारावे लागते, त्यांच्या भावविश्वावर होणाऱ्या जखमा फार गहिऱ्या असतात. त्यांचे परिणाम दूरगामी होतात. ज्यांना यातून जावे लागते त्यांच्यासाठी, त्यांची झालेली कुचंबणा  त्यावर आपलेपणाची फुंकर घालण्यासाठी आतापर्यंत संघटित स्वरूपात लढणारी संस्था नव्हती. २००८ मध्ये बंगळुरूमध्ये कुमार जहागीरदार यांच्या पुढाकाराने क्रिस्प (Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting) ही एनजीओ सुरू झाली. त्यात समुपदेशक म्हणून त्या कार्यरत आहेत.
रोशनी म्हणतात, ‘आपल्या देशातील बहुतेक कायदे स्त्रियांच्या बाजूने असतात. पालक विभक्त झाल्यानंतर बहुतांशी खटल्यांमध्ये मुलांचा ताबा आईलाच दिला जातो. कोवळ्या वयातील मुलांना आईची माया गरजेची असतेही. पण अनेकदा तर वडिलांना मुलांना भेटण्याचीही परवानगी नाकारली जाते. न्यायालयाने ती मंजूर केली असली तरी प्रत्यक्षात अनेक आया त्यात आडकाठी आणतात. या साऱ्यात अनेक वर्षे लोटतात. मुलांचे वाढदिवस, त्यांची काही तासांची भेट, अपत्यांचा काही तासांचा सहवास या साध्या गोष्टींसाठीही त्यांच्या वडिलांना मुकावे लागते. त्यांची ही भावनिक कोंडी फोडण्यासाठी ‘क्रिस्प’ कार्यरत आहे.’ डॉक्टर्स, इंजिनीअर, वकील, अध्यापक अशा व्यावसायिकांनी मिळून क्रिस्पची स्थापना केली. मात्र त्यापूर्र्वीपासून म्हणजे २००० पासूनच रोशनी या प्रकारची प्रकरणे हाताळत होत्या. आज त्या पुरुष पालकांच्या न्याय्य हक्कांसाठी लढत आहेत. त्यांचे मागणे एकच, लिंगभेदरहित समानता हवी. म्हणूनच रोशनी यांचा लढा रूढार्थाने व्यवस्थेविरोधात नाही, पण समानता नाकारणाऱ्या प्रक्रियेविरोधात आहे. हा लढा कायदेशीर मार्गानेच जिंकता येईल हे खरे असले तरी त्यातून खूप मोठे सामाजिक हित जोपासले जाणार आहे.
रोशनी यांच्या कार्यालयात एक वाक्य लिहिलंय, ‘१०० शिक्षकांहून एक वडील केव्हाही श्रेष्ठ’ यावर रोशनी यांचाही विश्वास असल्याने त्या सहभागी पालकत्वाचा (शेअर्ड पॅरेंटिंग) पुरस्कार करतात. यासाठी त्यांनी काही शास्त्रीय निरीक्षणं मांडली आहेत, त्यातून या समस्येचं गांभीर्य अधोरेखित झालं. एकेरी पालकत्वाच्या छायेत मोठी झालेली मुलं मानसिकदृष्टय़ा अस्थिर असतात. त्यांच्या मनात असुरक्षितपणाची जाणीव खोल रुतलेली असते. म्हणूनच त्यांच्या वागण्यात अनेकदा संभ्रम दिसून येतो, त्यामुळे त्यांच्या शैक्षणिक प्रगतीचा आलेखही अनेकदा समाधानकारक नसतो, शिवाय दोन्ही पालकांशी त्यांचं नातं काहीसं तणावपूर्ण असतं.
एकत्र कुटुंबांची परंपरा असणाऱ्या आपल्या संस्कृतीत घटस्फोटाच्या वादळाने कशी लथापालथ होते आहे, याची दाहकता किती, घटस्फोटानंतर विभक्त झालेल्या मुलांच्या भवितव्याचा प्रश्न, त्यांचा ताबा या प्रश्नाचे गांभीर्य किती आहे, याचा अंदाज घ्यायचा असेल तर अमेरिकेने प्रसिद्ध केलेल्या पाहणीतील निरीक्षणे जरूर विचारात घ्या, असे रोशनी यांनी लक्षात आणून दिले. अमेरिकेत केलेल्या एका पाहणीतील निष्कर्षांनुसार, वडिलांशिवाय असलेल्या घरातील मुले-आत्महत्येला प्रवृत्त होण्याची शक्यता ५ टक्के अधिक असते, घरातून पळून जाण्याची  शक्यता ३२ टक्के अधिक असते, इतकेच नाही तर बलात्कारासारखा पाशवी गुन्हा करण्यासाठी प्रवृत्त होण्याची शक्यता १४ टक्के अधिक असते. 
म्हणूनच त्या म्हणतात,  ‘‘यांसारख्या गंभीर परिस्थितीला सामोरे जाण्याची पूर्वतयारी आपल्या विकसनशील भारताने केली आहे का? एकटय़ा बंगळुरूमध्ये गेल्या पाच वर्षांत दाखल झालेले १७ हजार घटस्फोटाचे अर्ज प्रलंबित आहेत. त्यांची मुलं वर उल्लेख केलेल्या परिस्थितीतून जातील. तेव्हा भलेही तुमचं चौकौनी कुटुंब म्हणून तुम्ही आता बेफिकीर असाल, पण उद्या तुमच्या मुलांच्या बरोबरीने ही मुलं शाळा, कॉलेजेस्मध्ये एकत्र येतील तेव्हा काय? या मानसिक स्वास्थ्य हरवलेल्या मुलांच्या एखाद्या दुष्कृत्याला तुम्ही बळी पडायची शक्यता नाकारता येत नाही, म्हणूनच प्रश्न फक्त घटस्फोट घेणाऱ्या दांपत्यांपुरता किंवा कुटुंबापुरता नाही तर उद्याच्या नागरिकांचा आहे. भारत लवकरच ‘तरुणांचा देश’ होणार आहे. मग शंभरातले २० जण एकेरी पालकत्वाचे शिकार, काही अपंग, काही शारीरिक व्याधींनी त्रस्त असे चित्र असेल, तर मग सशक्त समाज बनेल? घटस्फोटाच्या वाढत्या प्रमाणामुळे सामाजिक स्वास्थ्य बिघडणार आहे, ते जपण्यासाठी मी लढतेय. आता दृश्य परिणाम भलेही अस्पष्ट आहेत, धूसर आहेत, पण दूरगामी आहेत हे नक्की. म्हणून माझा लढा सामाजिक संतुलन टिकावे म्हणून आहे,’ रोशनी पोटतिडकीने सांगतात तेव्हा त्यांच्या आवाजातली तळमळ स्पष्ट जाणवते. 
रोशनी आज ज्यासाठी लढतायत, त्यासाठी त्यांचा भूतकाळच कारणीभूत आहे. त्यांच्या आई-वडिलांचे संबंध खूपच तणावग्रस्त होते आणि यात होरपळली गेली ती रोशनी. पालक विभक्त झाल्याने मुलांची जी भावनिक, मानसिक व कौटुंबिक वाताहत होते, त्याच्या त्या साक्षीदार आहेत. म्हणूनच मुलांच्या जडणघडणीत दोन्ही पालकांची भूमिका महत्त्वाची असते, नव्हे आवश्यक असते. तो मुलांचा हक्कच असतो, असं त्या आता समुपदेशकाच्या खुर्चीत बसून सांगतात. पण त्यांनी स्वत: भोगलेल्या वेदनेमुळे या शब्दांना धार येते.
रोशनी संपूर्ण दिवस याच कामात व्यस्त असतात. त्यांनी बीएड केले असून पुढे ‘चाइल्ड एज्युकेशन’ हा विषय घेऊन एम.ए.ची पदवी घेतली. यानंतर शैक्षणिक व्यवस्थापन घेऊन त्यांनी एमबीए पूर्ण केलंय. त्यांना अध्यापनाचा दांडगा अनुभव आहे. बंगळुरूच्या आंतरराष्ट्रीय शाळेत त्या सहसंचालिका आहेत. यासह अनेक नामांकित शाळांच्या विश्वस्त मंडळाच्या त्या सदस्या आहेत. 
शिक्षण क्षेत्रातील योगदानापेक्षा स्वत:ची ओळख समुपदेशक अशी सांगायला रोशनी यांना विशेष अभिमानास्पद वाटते.  रोशनी नमूद करतात, ‘‘आम्ही आमच्या एनजीओच्या माध्यमातून कायदेशीर बाबींमध्ये काही बदल आणू इच्छितो. काही बदल आम्ही सुचवले आहेत. विवाहित जोडप्याने घटस्फोटासाठी अर्ज केल्यानंतर ३० दिवसांच्या आत आई वा वडील यांना मुलांशी बोलण्याची त्यांना भेटण्याची परवानगी दिली पाहिजे. नवरा-बायको विभक्त होऊ शकतात, पण आई-वडिलांनी होता कामा नये. खरं तर मुलांसाठी दोन्ही पालकांचा सहवास बंधनकारक केला पाहिजे, असे त्या म्हणतात. यासह घटस्फोटानंतर मुलांचा ताबा मिळण्यासंदर्भातला प्रश्न अर्ज दाखल केल्यापासून ६ महिन्यांच्या आत निकाली निघाला पाहिजे. तसेच दोन्हीपैकी कुणाही पालकाला मुलांना भेटण्याची परवानगी नाकारता कामा नये. तसा न्यायालयाचा आदेश असेल तर त्याचा अवमान करणाऱ्याला कठोर शिक्षाही झाली पाहिजे.अनेक स्त्रिया घटस्फोटासाठी सबळ कारण म्हणून घरगुती हिंसाचार कायदा, तसेच हुंडाविरोधी कायद्याच्या नावाखाली त्यांच्या नवऱ्यांना अडकवतात. हेच कारण पुढे करून नवऱ्याला मुलांनाही भेटण्याची परवानगी मिळू नये म्हणून न्यायालयाकडे विनवणी करतात. अशा परिस्थितीला बळी पडलेल्या वडिलांना मी समुपदेशन करते.’’ 
रोशनी म्हणतात, ‘‘मी स्त्रियांच्या विरोधात नाही, पण स्त्री निसर्गत:च उत्तम संवादी आहे. न्यायालयापुढे पुरुषांच्या तुलनेत स्त्री तिचे म्हणणे चांगल्या प्रकारे मांडू शकते. तिच्या भावना, तिचा जाच किंवा त्रास समोरच्यापर्यंत तीव्रतेने पोचवण्यात ती अधिक सरस ठरते. त्यामुळे अशा प्रकरणात बाईला सहानुभूतीही लवकर मिळते. पण नवऱ्यांची किती चूक आहे याची शहानिशा करण्याआधीच त्यांना आरोपीच्या पिंजऱ्यात उभे केले जाते. त्यांची क्षमता, मुलांमधली गुंतवणूक याचा विचारही केला जात नाही. 
समुपदेशक म्हणून रोशनी यांचं कार्य मोलाचं आहे. त्यांनी आतापर्यंत पाचशे प्रकरणं यशस्वीपणे हाताळली असून अनेकांना आशेचा किरण दाखवला आहे. ज्या तरुण वडिलांचं समुपदेशन त्या करतात त्यांच्यासह त्यांचे वृद्ध आई वडील, बहिणी अथवा भाऊ यांचंही समुपदेशन करावं लागतं. कितीही उच्चशिक्षित किंवा श्रीमंत घरातले असले तरी घटस्फोट व नंतर मुलांची ताटातूट या भावनिक आघाताने पुरुष वैफल्यावस्थेत जातात. कित्येकदा व्यसनांच्या आहारी जातात, क्वचित गुन्हेगारीकडेही वळतात. म्हणूनच धंद-आवडीनिवडी जपण्याचा आग्रह धरण्यापासून ते व्यसनमुक्ती केंद्र शोधण्यापर्यंत सगळी तजवीज रोशनी यांनाच करावी लागते. 
कायद्याच्या कच्याटय़ात अडकलेल्यांना मार्गदर्शन करणे, त्यांचा मुद्दा न्यायालयात अधिक चांगल्या प्रकारे कसा मांडता येईल, याबाबत चर्चा करणे, तसेच त्यांचा आवाज न्यायालयापर्यंत पोहोचेल, यासाठी सर्वतोपरी प्रयत्न रोशनी करतात. मुलांचे अधिकार, त्यांच्यासाठीच्या न्याय्य मागण्या यांची वकिली करण्यासाठी आतापर्यंत अनेक टीव्ही कार्यक्रमांत रोशनी सहभागी झाल्या आहेत. त्या वेळोवेळी मोर्चे व रॅली काढून आपल्या मागण्यांना जनाधार मिळवून देण्याचा प्रयत्न करतात. स्त्रियांच्या संरक्षणासाठी असणारे कलम ४९८ ए किंवा घरगुती हिंसाचार यांचा वाढता गैरवापर थांबवून पुरुषांनाही कायद्याचा दिलासा मिळाला पाहिजे, हा त्यांच्या अजेंडय़ावरचा मुद्दा आहे. पण पुरुषांची बाजू उचलून धरल्याबद्दल अनेकांच्या रोषाला त्यांना सामोरे जावे लागले आहे.
‘‘मी स्त्रीवादी आहेच, पण निरपराध पुरुषांनाही कायद्याचे अभय मिळाले पाहिजे, इतकेच मला वाटते. काहीच चूक नसताना केवळ निरपराधित्व सिद्ध करण्यात आयुष्यातली उमेदीची वर्षे खर्ची पडतात. त्यामुळे अनेक तरुणांच्या आयुष्याची घडी विस्कटते. हे वास्तव भयाण वाटतं मला. म्हणून ही वर्चस्ववादाची लढाई नसून समानतेसाठीचा लढा आहे, असे मी वारंवार सांगते.’’
घटस्फोटित दांपत्यांच्या मुलींच्या हक्कांबाबतही त्या कमालीच्या आग्रही आहेत. यासाठी त्यांनी ‘ऑल इंडिया डॉटर्स प्रोटेक्शन फोरम’ची स्थापना केली आहे. याशिवाय इंटरनेटवरील ब्लॉगच्या माध्यमातून त्या चळवळ व्यापक करू इच्छितात. त्यांनी आतापर्यंत हजारांच्या वर ब्लॉग लिहिलेत. समुपदेशनचा मार्ग असो वा ब्लॉगिंगचा, बदल घडेपर्यंत लढायचेच, अशी ‘भीष्मप्रतिज्ञा’ केलेली ही आधुनिक दुर्गा आहे. 
मुलं मोठी होताना दोन्ही पालकांचा सक्रिय सहभाग त्यात असेल तरच मुलाची सर्वागीण वाढ होते. आजकाल आई-वडील दोघेही नोकरीवर असणाऱ्या जमान्यात तर दोन्ही पालकांची भूमिका आत्यंतिक गरजेचीच आहे. पाश्चिमात्य देशांनी शेअर्ड पॅरेटिंगची महती ओळखून त्या दिशेने वाटचाल सुरू केलेली आहे. ज्यात घटस्फोट घेऊ इच्छिणाऱ्या जोडप्याला समुपदेशक तज्ज्ञांसह चर्चा केली जाते व मुलांचा ताबा, त्याची भवितव्याची तरतूद वगैरे गोष्टींवर आधीच चर्चा केली जाते, त्यामुळे पाणी वाहतं होतं.
आपल्या देशात असे बदल व्हायला वेळ लागेल, पण नक्की होतील याबाबत रोशनी व त्यांची संस्था कमालीच्या आशावादी आहेत.    
संपर्कासाठी- संकेतस्थळ  www.crisp-india.org
ई-मेल- roshniper@gmail.com





Friday, 21 September 2012

Valerie Spruill: One twisted family tree - woman finds out late husband was also her father


Valerie Spruill: Ohio woman married her father Perry Spruill, finds out after his death
http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/national/valerie-spruill-ohio-woman-married-her-father-perry-spruill-finds-out-after-his-death

http://www.ohio.com/news/local/bob-dyer-one-twisted-family-tree-woman-finds-out-late-husband-was-also-her-father-1.332813


The next time you think you’re having a bad day, image how Valerie Spruill felt when she discovered that her husband and her father are the same person.
We will pause here briefly to enable you to process the previous sentence. Took me a while, too.
Talk about a psychological blockbuster.
Not that her life had been a breeze four decades earlier when she found out at the age of 9 that the man she thought was her father was actually her grandfather, and that a person who had been identified as a “family friend” was actually her mother.
Spruill didn’t learn until later that her mom also was one of three “night ladies,” as she terms it, who testified in the infamous 1980 corruption trial of Summit County Probate Judge James Barbuto.
Why would anyone volunteer this kind of information?
Because Valerie Spruill wants to be an example. The 60-year-old Doylestown woman wants to show other folks born into miserable situations that they can still lead good, productive, fulfilling lives.
Spruill has. Now retired, she worked for 34 years in the accounting department at Goodyear. She has three kids and eight grandkids.
Although Spruill has fought through serious health problems — she believes they were brought on by the stress of discovering the longtime family secret in 2004, when her husband/father died — she is relentlessly upbeat and optimistic.
For years, she overheard odd whispers she couldn’t figure out. She finally learned the truth from an uncle not long after her husband/father’s death.
When asked to estimate how many people know about this, she laughs and says, “Half of Akron.”

Spruill says she confirmed the relationship with a DNA test. And if anyone doubts it, she says, she still has plenty of his DNA: About five years ago, she found a hairbrush of his that somehow had become lodged under their dresser.

Now, I think it’s safe to say there aren’t a lot of support groups for people who marry their fathers. Fortunately, Spruill has been working with a therapist since she found out. She praises the therapist for helping her realize she did nothing wrong.

“I’ve been getting great help,” she says, “because, God knows, if I hadn’t of went and aired out how I feel, I wouldn’t have made it, because I would have continued to stress out about this problem.”

Still, the pain understandably persists. As she tells her tale to a writer whom she doesn’t know but says she trusts, an occasional drop of moisture slides down her dark brown skin toward a mouth that can’t seem to avoid curling upward in the corners even as she dredges up the most traumatic of memories.

The man in question, Percy Spruill, died in April 1998 at the age of 60. Born in Mississippi, he worked in Akron as a truck driver and, later, as a parking-lot attendant at Morley Health Center.

He and Valerie’s mother hooked up when he was only 15.

We’re not sure how many offspring Percy Spruill helped produce, but at one point, apparently, he figured that one of them would be a suitable spouse.

Although Valerie says she is not 100 percent certain he knew, because he never talked about it, she strongly believes he was aware of the taboo he had committed but was simply afraid to tell her.

She fights the natural inclination to hate him, because people who hate don’t get into heaven, she says. And if you don’t make it into heaven when the time comes, she notes, you can’t hit the rewind button and try again.

“I want this to be more of an inspirational story,” she says. “If I’ve come through this, anyone can come through anything through the help of the Lord.”

Spruill also is motivated to tell her tale in the hope she can locate additional siblings she didn’t know existed.

“My biggest goal is to find them and let ’em know that [their mother] loved them, no matter what. And [to tell them], ‘Thank God she gave you away like she did me, so you could have a beautiful life.’

“It’s not a shame to be given away. Most of the time it’s a blessing.

“And you have to see that blessing that God gave you and accept that hand. Because everybody’s dealt a hand, and it’s not always good and it’s not always bad. But if you live that hand that God gave you, it’s gonna be all right. It’s gonna be all right. Yes, it is.”

When she learned that Christine, the nice-looking woman who visited the house, was her mom, Spruill hated her. Hated the deception. Hated that her mom had tossed her in a taxi at 3 months old and shipped her permanently to Grandma’s house. Hated that she knew nothing about her siblings.

But well before her mother died in 1984, the daughter made amends, thanks in part to the religious beliefs imbued by her grandparents, whom she credits with doing a wonderful job of raising her.

“God changed my life,” Spruill says. “It was God, through me, that let [Mom] see God for herself. ...

“I used to pray and pray and pray that one day God would touch her heart and change her, and He did.

“One Sunday, she came to church and joined.”

Spruill also believes faith helped get her through two strokes and a diabetic coma that kept her in intensive care for 11 days.

“I know there’s a reason why I’m still living,” she says. “And it’s to tell this story.

“It needs to be told, because children need to know where they come from. And I know it hurts, because I have been devastated by this.”

One of the six brothers she is aware of advised her not to go public, saying, “Val, that might bring up a whole lot of skeletons in the closet.”

She replied, “Well, I’m not a skeleton, and I’m hurt.”

The hurt can be trumped by the truth, she believes.

“It’s a miracle how God reveals and heals at the same time, and he gives you that blessing to keep on going. ...

“If this old lady done come through all this, and God’s still got her here and still with a good heart — because you find so many mean, vicious people in the world, and you don’t have to be — you can love no matter what you’ve come through or where you’ve been in this world.”

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AKRON, Ohio - Veteran Akron Beacon Journal columnist Bob Dyer said his conversations with a Doylestown woman led to the "most bizarre story he has worked on in 28 years."
Valerie Spruill, 60, contacted Dyer with a desire to spill her family secret.
They chatted on the phone several times and Spruill eventually agreed to meet with Dyer in a newspaper conference room. Dyer didn't know exactly what to expect, but it certainly wasn't the jaw-dropping, stranger-than-fiction story she revealed.
"When she first said she found out she had married her father, I about fell out of my chair," Dyer said.

Spruill explained she had no idea her husband, Perry Spruill, was also her dad until he died in 1998 and a relative came to her with the truth, which she confirmed through a DNA test.
Dyer said Spruill also has three kids, meaning their father is also their grandfather.
The Akron Beacon Journal first published the story on Sept. 8, but it has just recently gone viral. Dyer said it was even picked up by a Brazilian publication and British tabloids.
The columnist said Spruill, a retired Goodyear employee, wasn't looking for world-wide attention. Rather, she hoped her story would help others.
"I think her reason for coming forward was that she sees so many kids who are in bad situations, have single-parent households, and the single parent is not much interested in them. They'll be doing their thing. And, I think she wanted to send the message if I can get through this and have a productive life, which she did, then you can get through your situation too," Dyer said.

Dyer's story pointed out the stress of discovering the secret may have contributed to health problems for the Wayne County woman, but she has proven to be a very strong woman.
"She immediately started to get counseling, which she said has been very valuable. I think it helped her understand that she didn't do anything wrong," Dyer said.

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The Spirit of Radical Feminism: The Jezebel Spirit

What is the Evil Spirit behind Radical Feminism? 

It is the spirit of Jezebel and Ashtoreth.
Key Characteristics of a Jezebel Spirit: The Evil Spirit of Radical Feminism
Control-freak and Manipulator
Power Seeker
Usurper of Genuine Religious Authority; Enemy of True Christians
Pretentious Liar
Prideful, Vain and Narcissistic
Denier of Guilt or Responsibility; Unrepentant
Jealous
Bitter and Resenting
Warlike and Vicious
Feminist and Men Hater
(Self-)destructive
Claims Undue Credit, Denies Others Due Credit
Information Gatherers
Sower of Confusion and Insecurity
http://1phil4everyill.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/when-love-yields-to-fear-what-is-a-jezebel-spirit-all-about-part-33/#How
“The importance of mother goddesses in the various mythologies of paganism .........…The mother goddess received different names and external appearances, but, in substance, she was always the same. In Egypt, she was called Isis. In Crete, she was represented as a mother who made friendly contact with snakes. In Greece she was known as Demeter, and in Rome she was worshiped as Cybele, the Magna Mater (Great Mother), a mother goddess of Phrygian origin. There is practically no ancient culture that did not worship this type of deity.”
Jezebel Compared to Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy
On reflecting on all of the above characteristics, it should be clear that we are dealing with an extremely ferocious and malicious spirit indeed. In fact, it is so utterly uncaring for the interests of other people that will be interesting to find out just how closely a typical thoroughbred Jezebel satisfies the criteria for clinical psychopathy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopathy#Diagnostic_criteria_and_PCL-R_assessment
The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) is a diagnostic tool used to rate a person’s psychopathic or antisocial tendencies. People who are psychopathic prey ruthlessly on others using charm, deceit, violence or other methods that allow them to get what they want. The symptoms of psychopathy include: lack of a conscience or sense of guilt, lack of empathy, egocentricity, pathological lying, repeated violations of social norms, disregard for the law, shallow emotions, and a history of victimizing others. http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Hare-Psychopathy-Checklist.html

Here’s the score convention of the Hare checklist:
When properly completed by a qualified professional, the PCL-R provides a total score that indicates how closely the test subject matches the “perfect” score that a classic or prototypical psychopath would rate. Each of the twenty items is given a score of 0, 1, or 2 based on how well it applies to the subject being tested. A prototypical psychopath would receive a maximum score of 40, while someone with absolutely no psychopathic traits or tendencies would receive a score of zero. A score of 30 or above qualifies a person for a diagnosis of psychopathy. People with no criminal backgrounds normally score around 5. Many non-psychopathic criminal offenders score around 22.

We see that a typical Jezebel scores at least 37 points. By satisfying the check-list to such outstanding degree, a Jezebel spirit finding expression in a consistently willing or relenting human host, demonstrates to indeed have the character of a (virtual) prototypical psychopath.

Let’s go over the entire checklist point-by-point:
Jezebel’s Character compared to the Hare Psychopathy Checklist
TraitEstimated Score + Comment
glib and superficial charmScore=2 … Jezebels resort to pretense and trickery to hide their blackened character and ditto actions behind.
grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of selfScore=2 … Jezebels are vain to the point of being narcissistic and therefore are too proud to think less of themselves.
need for stimulationScore=2 … Since they are warlike, vicious and seek power they naturally gravitate to “action.”
pathological lyingScore=2 … It’s part of the bag of tricks to help gain what they want. Jezebels excel in lying.
cunning and manipulativenessScore=2 … Jezebels obsessively use manipulation to satisfy their desires and attain their goals.
lack of remorse or guiltScore=2 … They feel they do not and cannot do anything wrong. Their pride and vanity prevents them from being able to do so.
shallow affect(superficial emotional responsiveness)Score=2 … Jezebels are shallow when it comes to anyone but themselves, period. Unless it serves their interests they will only superficially pretend to show affection for others.
callousness and lack of empathyScore=2 … By their warlike and manipulative character Jezebels demonstrate to not care for people other than themselves.
parasitic lifestyleScore=2 … It’s the consequence of seeking to usurp (religious) authority and the power from other people who are deemed “useful”. Jezebels use people and when they are “done” with them, they drop ‘em like hot potatoes.
poor behavioral controlsScore=2 … Jezebels know no ethical restraints.
sexual promiscuityScore=2 … This is implied by the willingness of Jezebels to apply sexual seduction to meet their goals.
early behavior problemsScore=2 … Their lack of concern for other beings makes them prone to all kinds of behavioral problems. It is also in their nature though to cover up their behavior by cunning, deceit, pretense and denial.
lack of realistic long-term goalsScore=2 …  Ego dominated thinking is necessarily myopic in nature. On a more philosophical note, goals detached from God are always unrealistic in the long run.
impulsivityScore=2 … Jezebels think firstly about themselves and secondly about… themselves also. If they feel their egos are challenged they act swiftly and ruthlessly.
irresponsibilityScore=2 … If something goes wrong, it is always the fault of someone else. Jezebels never take responsibility for something that has gone wrong. They do however claim credit for something they do not do, if it only makes them look better.
failure to accept responsibility for own actionsScore=2 … Jezebels cannot “lower” themselves to feel responsible and display sympathy for a disadvantaged party. They probably rationalize it away, claiming that they merely deserved it or that it was “tough luck” etc.
many short-term marital relationshipsScore=1 … Given the inclination of Jezebels to use sexual seduction as a weapon this may indeed pose problems in regards to loyalty to possible spouses. This point needs individual assessment though.
juvenile delinquencyScore=2 … Because of their lack of ethical consciousness there is a systemic lack of  inhibition to commit crime, in all age-groups.
revocation of conditional releaseScore=1 … Likely but to be decided on an individual basis…
criminal versatilityScore=1 … It’s a consequence of their unscrupulousness and the absence of ethical inhibition. “The end justifies the means,” is their credo. If a crime needs to be committed, then so be it.

How to Deal with Jezebel Spirits
Confrontation is really the only “cure” in dealing with a Jezebel spirit. The problem is that many people fear confrontation, knowing it will create an ugly scene. Therefore they prolong the inevitable.

Jezebel wants to paralyze with fear, condemnation, depression, apathy or whatever it takes until we withdraw. The only answer for those under Jezebel’s attack is perseverance in battle. We must remain on course no matter how long it takes!

Indeed confrontation and perseverance is required in dealing with the Jezebel spirit. I can say out of my own experience that Jezebel will hold out to the very end. She is very aggressive and tenacious. You cannot afford to ignore her because she will do damage. It is therefore important to make hosts, or captives, realize that they are protecting her and allow her to stay as long as they deny that she’s in them or are too ashamed to repent for their sins. Once that groundwork has been done though, preparations for deliverance can be done and she can be evicted relatively easily.

Jezebel needs to be dealt with ruthlessly and without compromise:
True, fervent intercessory prayer causes hearts to change from pride and loftiness to repentance and humility; nothing brings a greater death blow to the spirit of Jezebel.

First, we must rid ourselves of Jezebel’s ways. We cannot cast out lust when we harbor lust in our lives. We cannot bring down a spirit of control if we use manipulation and hype to control our congregations. We must examine our own ways, and repent of Jezebel.
Second, it takes Jehu. Although Elijah was Jezebel’s enemy, it took JEHU to trample Jezebel.

Jehu took no prisoners and showed no mercy to Jezebel. He had singleness of purpose and was driven by it. As he approached Jezebel those who saw his chariot noted he “drives furiously” (2Ki 9:20). When others offered peace and compromise, Jehu responded “How can there be peace as long as the harlotries and witchcrafts of Jezebel are many?” (2Ki 9:22)

This is repeated in the NT: “What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” (2Co 6:15) NO COMPROMISE

Jehu would not rest until Jezebel was dead. Her pleasures could not attract him. Her threats did not deter him. He would not tolerate Jezebel.

Jesus says we too cannot TOLERATE Jezebel. (Rev 2:20) We must learn the prophetic power of the word “No!” We must give no ground.

When Jezebel attempted to captivate Jehu, he did not even allow himself to be drawn into conversation with her. Instead, he called on her eunuchs (a type of today’s men) to cast her down from her balcony. Those with the Jehu anointing will call to Jezebel’s emasculated slaves to rise up above their miserable situation, and they too will cast her down, and be set free.
To confront this spirit, we must be ruthless toward it, showing no mercy and no sympathy toward it and its behavior. We must realize that we are dealing with an evil spirit, and although we must be compassionate to the person in its clutches, we must deal a death blow to the evil spirit.

First, we must rid ourselves of Jezebel’s ways. We cannot cast out lust when we harbor lust in our lives. We cannot bring down a spirit of control if we use manipulation and hype to control our congregations. We must examine our own ways, and repent of Jezebel.
Second, it takes Jehu. Although Elijah was Jezebel’s enemy, it took JEHU to trample Jezebel.

Jehu took no prisoners and showed no mercy to Jezebel. He had singleness of purpose and was driven by it. As he approached Jezebel those who saw his chariot noted he “drives furiously” (2Ki 9:20). When others offered peace and compromise, Jehu responded “How can there be peace as long as the harlotries and witchcrafts of Jezebel are many?” (2Ki 9:22)

This is repeated in the NT: “What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” (2Co 6:15) NO COMPROMISE

Jehu would not rest until Jezebel was dead. Her pleasures could not attract him. Her threats did not deter him. He would not tolerate Jezebel.

Jesus says we too cannot TOLERATE Jezebel. (Rev 2:20) We must learn the prophetic power of the word “No!” We must give no ground.

When Jezebel attempted to captivate Jehu, he did not even allow himself to be drawn into conversation with her. Instead, he called on her eunuchs (a type of today’s men) to cast her down from her balcony. Those with the Jehu anointing will call to Jezebel’s emasculated slaves to rise up above their miserable situation, and they too will cast her down, and be set free.

To confront this spirit, we must be ruthless toward it, showing no mercy and no sympathy toward it and its behavior. We must realize that we are dealing with an evil spirit, and although we must be compassionate to the person in its clutches, we must deal a death blow to the evil spirit.
Anyone who is hit by this spirit needs, first of all, to repent deeply of their sympathetic thoughts toward it, and then war against it! Do not waste days and weeks under condemnation. Separate yourself from that Jezebelian thinking which was fostered upon you in your youth, pick up the sword of the Spirit, and war against the principality of Jezebel! Pray for the saints in your church. Pray for the Christians throughout your community. If you war against Jezebel when you are tempted, eventually you are going to be dangerous! This spirit will stop attacking you once it recognizes that your aggressive counterattack is setting other people free!
Jezebel hates prayer. Intercessory prayer pries her fingers off the hearts and souls of men. It sets people free in the spirit. When you pray, it binds her. When you pray against immorality, it cripples her. When you pray for a submissive heart, it is like trampling of Jehu’s horse upon her body.
If a man has relinquished his headship authority to a Jezebelian wife, Frangipane writes:
God’s answer to dealing with Jezebel is not to exchange one form of oppression (Jezebel’s), for another (the man’s). God’s objective is to replace Jezebel’s concept of security with the security a woman receives when she is tenderly loved by her husband. Thus, the man wins the war against Jezebel by becoming Christlike.
The woman overcomes the haughtiness of Jezebel by seeking the meekness of Christ. She pursues a “gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 2:23-3:4), which is natural to Christlikeness. The woman must see God’s wisdom in the divine order of the family and honor her husband as her head. If she is unmarried, she should be submitted to the order God has established in her church as unto the Lord. Her humility and peace in serving others is a sign of destruction to the nature of Jezebel (see Philippians 1:28).

What terrifies and cripples the power of darkness more than anything else is when believers surrender totally to the person and nature of Christ. To be Christlike is to wield a powerful weapon against the enemy, because, after all, the Jezebel spirit is specifically opposed to the nature of Christ.
To have disdain and intolerance for all types of the influence of Jezebel, there must be consistency in our lives as believers. For example, many times we rejoice and worship before the Lord in church, and yet we come home later and watch immoral entertainment on television. When we tolerate the influence of the spirit of Jezebel in our private lives, we give inroads to the sanctuary of our lives. This behavior doesn’t fool God, and by being tolerant of Jezebel, we greatly hinder the flow of God’s power in our lives and our effectiveness for Him.
Some might suggest that a Jezebel spirit can simply be cast out. If it were only a demon, this would be true. However, Jezebels have a personality that has been shaped by controlling demonic thoughts. Flesh cannot be cast out. Neither can personality traits that are deeply entrenched. Therefore, the person must be willing to ruthlessly face truth and be willing to let God crucify his flesh. The flesh and its patterns must be subjected to the Holy Spirit daily in order for the person to be permanently set free.

References:
“Tragedy and Sin, Forgiveness and Restoration – My Own Deliverance Story”
http://1phil4everyill.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/tragedy-and-sin-forgiveness-and-restoration-my-own-deliverance-story/
“The Spirit of Jezebel”
http://www.jonhamilton.org/jezebel.htm
“Jezebel, in our society”
http://www.albatrus.org/english/church-order/women-matters/jezebel_in_our_society.htm
“Jezebel Seducing Goddess of War – Jonas Clark”
http://www.amazon.com/Jezebel-Seducing-Goddess-Jonas-Clark/dp/1886885044
“Mental Disorder and Jezebel”
http://www.scribd.com/doc/13299084/The-Jezebel-Spirit-and-Mental-Health?autodown=pdf
“Confronting Jezebel: Discerning and Defeating the Spirit of Control – Steve Sampson”
http://www.stevesampson.com/jezebelbook.html
Read excerpts through this link (Google books)
“The Jezebel Spirit – Unmasking the Enemies of the Church – Francis Frangipane”
http://www.amazon.com/Jezebel-Spirit-Discernment-Francis-Frangipane/dp/0962904988
“The Spirit of Jezebel / Queen of Heaven / Harlot Spirit”
http://www.christian-faith.com/forjesus/jezebel-spirit
“Beware the Jezebel Spirit”
http://www.tlig.org/en/spirituality/letters/jezebel/
“Jezebel”
http://latter-rain.com/eschae/jezebel.htm
“Discerning The Jezebel Spirit” (4 part Youtube video)